S.O.S., Shit, Outlines Suck

   Again, a terribly long hiatus. In an attempt to be a better writer, and an all around better person, I have decided that I will improve my time management skills. So much to see and do and such a short life to squander it on Tumblr, Stumbleupon, or God forbid, Facebook*. Self-Help section over. Writing time.

   As I said before it has been quite some time since I've posted, and the post that I'm commenting on is even older. The post was made by my delightful friend Rosé on outlining. While I love her dearly, we differ in our writing styles (more about this later, maybe readers will get a collaborative blog post?), but the focus of this blog, outlining. In fact, we are polar opposites when it comes to outlining. As stated in her post, Rose is constantly trying a new system of organization and that's fabulous. It makes the writing process much easier if you have an idea of where you want your characters to go and what you want them to be doing. For example, and this example is based off of Rose's baby which she is diligently writing as I blog**,  if you have a story with a couple main characters who aren't a pack (think Harry, Hermione and Ron) then you will have some trouble deciding what role they will play, when the will play it, when they will play it, and how they will play it. Rose has this in her work as there are main characters and then characters who are central to the plot, but not necessarily "main" and then characters who are important, but not central or main. Keeping that many characters, and those types, organized can be like wrangling toddlers for nap time. You know it's going to be a positive thing that will make everyone involved happier, but those little shits don't have that foresight and want to continue doing everything else but sleep.

   I do like Rose's suggestion about having color cards correspond to aspects of you story and sorting everything out before you start to write. That can be extremely helpful, especially when you hit a road block. Those are the days you climb on the struggle bus and whip out your cards so you can still be productive, you're still focused on writing, but you can still feel like someone extracted your brain and replaced it with a pile of garbage from a fratdaddy's*** trash can.

   But where do I come in? By now I think we all know I come when I want and here I am.

   I don't outline. Maybe a little, but I'm that artsy person who wants to "feel" their characters and "hear" their characters. And let me tell you right now it is bullshit. It is not professional and I am trying desperately to find a way to balance that with effective outlining techniques. But honestly, that's how I write. I got my idea for the book I'm writing one night at four am when I woke up to go to the bathroom. The only reason I remembered this flash of brilliance in the morning?
1. I have the weirdest sleeping antics which, if you are lucky, I will share here some day.
2. In my scenario I set up Leonardo DiCaprio was the main character and I thought about him later that day.

How is that relevant?

First, write more stuff down. If you aren't one to really outline and you wait for those bursts of creativity, for pete's sake be ready to document them. Don't stop there either. Remember where you documented them. Even better, on my nightstand somewhere in the midst of my T. Rex, painted margarita glass, pug picture and menagerie of books is my notebook. Not the cheesy one with Ryan Gosling shirtless. My writing notebook. It's a little notepad that I got at Staples in a three pack and it's my lifeblood. I get an idea, I write it down. I think of a name, I write it down. I have a short story in my mind that won't leave me alone long enough to think about ANYTHING else, I write that sucker down. This in itself is a great thing because you can go back in a couple weeks when you hit that inevitable rut and you can be reminded of what your work was, is, and will become.

Secondly, and this is me being a fan of old school techniques (a blog post later will go into greater detail of this), notice the verb littering that paragraph above this one? WRITE. You are a WRITER. You WRITE books. Would it kill you to back away from your computer and WRITE something? I mean this sincerely, all caps lock aside. My heart aches for the days of fountain pens, which I know are difficult to use, but my heavens the beauty of the script. Your name becomes elegant and rich when written with a fountain pen. But I understand that always having a fountain pen on hand can be rather problematic and we want our writing to be unhindered. That's why we aren't outlining, right? However, a pencil or pen is not difficult to obtain. Trust Ms. Darkly, your writing will thank you.

Finally, if you are not going to outline, and this is going to sting, your writing will suck when you first write it. Will you have descriptions that blaze a picture not into your mind, but into your heart? Yes. Will you have dialogue that you swear is too good for you to have written? Yes. Will these sparkly writing gems be few? Yes, and they will be far between and it is your job as a writer who does not believe in outlining to "listen" to your characters. Especially when they tell you it's time to make some changes.

Sincerely,
S. Darkly






*Do yourself a favor and end the insanity now. You will love your life without Facebook.
**Literally and figuratively. And I've read some of that sucker, it's a wonderful example of writing beautifully.
***Yes, I said "fratdaddy".

Ms. Darkly in the Dorm with Her Computer

Sorry for my absence chickadees, and by chickadees I mean the one person who is probably reading this.

I learned something tonight and it is my desire to share it with you. No, your significant other may not watch. My writing tips are intimate. Foreplay, anyone?

Currently, I am a slave in the hallowed halls in an institution of higher learning. Yes, college. Most things are enjoyable but there are a few things I dislike.

1. Group work
2. Slow walkers
3. Having to post my response to student formulated questions on an education forum for a class.

I do love the class, History of Education in America. The instructor is from a small town in Tennessee, has her eyebrow pierced, and is a drama nerd who quotes Fight Club. I think that encapsulates her nicely. She mixes her grad student vibe to relate, sense of humor, and honesty to be one kicking teacher. All those things combined made me accept that I would read the summaries of education articles and respond to questions posed by my peers.

Here's where the action gets going.

One of the articles was about how schools are thinking of doing away with recess. My first thought?

Someone was beat up on the playground and now everyone will be punished.

That playground is apparently the international market and that child that got beat up is America and those being punished are the Joe Smiths who make this country go round.

In answering the question(s) I let myself get carried away. The assignment says to write a paragraph. Well I wrote two. The answer was insightful, it was passionate, more importantly it was accurate. I drew examples from my personal life, then I used a double meaning to transition into my next point, and finally I put a small irony cherry on top. Answering that question felt amazing.

Here's the part where I turn my trick...over to you.

Take absolutely every opportunity you are given and write your heart out. This assignment I was given was a four point assignment that will only be worth ten percent of my grade. Not much. But that doesn't matter. What matters is that I wrote what I felt in my heart. There is no doubt in my mind that the other students in my class will have a strong reaction to what I wrote. That's because I had a strong reaction to what I wrote. People who wait for the "right moment" to write often miss out. As a writer, you hold the power to create that special, prefect, dare I say it again, right moment to write.

Since it is a little late and I'm feeling especially spent after that burst of activity, I'll present some great examples.

Texting your mother? Use a simile to tell her how you feel.
    -It's simple really, but it's a little thing that goes a long way. Talking to your mother that is, she gives great advice and always wants to be supportive.

Emailing your boss? Try to avoid a word you overuse
   -Take this opportunity to rediscover an old word, but dear god don't use a thesaurus. It takes the fun out of it.*

Chatting** with a member of the opposite sex? Everyone loves a classy and clever double entendre.
  -Notice how I said classy and clever. Keep that in mind. Anything else and you're coping out and not making the most of you opportunity.

As always, I hope you enjoyed our time together. Please don't be offended that I'm not the cuddling type.

Sincerely,
S. Darkly


*I have nothing against Thesauri. But the point is to explained your mind, not to sound like a pompous jerk.

**You're right. Chatting isn't writing. But why can't a good conversation one night lead to a stellar dialogue in your short story the next?

Use It or Lose It

"...your sex life is nobody else's business. Quit worrying about begin judged, and do what you can to cut judgmental people out of your life. Respect yourself, enjoy your sexuality, and ignore the haters." - Coke Talk

That quote comes from the advice column of one of the smartest ladies I've never met. 

But Scarlett, what does this quote and incredible lady have to do with writing? 

I'm so glad you asked.

First, replace sex/sexuality with writing. Enough said

Second, I don't know who she is or what she does but there is much to learn from her. CT, as she will be referred to here, has an amazing voice. And that is the topic of this post. Use your voice or you will lose it, or much worse, if you don't use it you will never develop your voice. It's obviously not the only aspect of your writing, but your voice, or the voice of your characters, is going to make your writing relatable. That connection is crucial for any writer but especially for a new writer with no established reader base. A fun, and perhaps solo project for developing voice might be a technique actors use known as method acting and since I love CT I will use her as an example. 

There you are sitting in your coffee shop, your dorm room, or your small apartment in Big City, Somewhere. As you are, male or female, might not necessarily be able to formulate the voice of a strong independent woman, but look who we have. Coke Talk. Read her work and personal blog or even her clothing and jewelry boutique. (Do you see why this woman is one of my idols? She also has her Master's degree and some kicking job in L.A.). For the rest of the day imagine how she would handle a situation. Someone messed up the coffee order? What would Coke Talk do? Jerk at work come on to you...again? What would Coke Talk do? Maybe a more positive situation. Someone buys you a drink at the bar What would Coke Talk do? Think like your character. Talk like your character. Hell, walk like your character. Doing so will get you to understand your character better which in turn makes you write them better. 

Coke Talk not your cup of tea? Understandable. Look up the show Summer Heights High. It's an Australian show where one man plays the part of three characters. They include thirteen year old Jonah, the middle aged (and seemingly gay) Mr. Greg Gregson, fondly known as Mr. G, and finally sixteen year old Ja'mie King. Yes I spelled that correctly. Chris Lilley is the man behind this and I plan to write an entire post about him later and his ideas on characters and their development. Maybe I'll even post a video. But since that is coming later I will leave you with this...

1. Plagiarism is deplorable. If you don't have enough neurons firing off to think creative thoughts step away from your computer, pencil, typewriter, whatever. In reading the work of Coke Talk or watching Summer Heights High or his other works, you are not meant to copy them. You are meant to learn from these people and see what they do that works and maybe what you feel doesn't work. But don't copy. 

2. The "What Would CT Do" is an extremely clever play on the WWJD and there is a bracelet you can purchase from CT with WWCTD. Here's the link for the shop. 

Sincerely,

S. Darkly

The First Time

     I don't care who you are and what you say. Your first time is not magical. That same idea goes for your first blog post. It is teenagers groping at parts they can't talk about with a straight face. It is short. It is awkward. It is messy. Like other first times, I am doing this because a friend did. Rosé as she is known in my circle of life, is into the Young Adult sphere of writing and I am simply into writing. She got a blog and in her few posts she has demonstrated a couple of things:

A. She is going to be one hell of a writer.

B. The internet/blogging can be beneficial for writers. 

That foreplay was fun. Let's get awkward. 

     I am not a bad writer. In fact, I have moments when I write something and I can't believe I wrote that. But I am a beginner and I have much to learn. Much like the oldest profession in the world, you never stop learning, never stop trying new things, you never stop surprising the people who purchase your service, and most importantly, you never stop surprising yourself.

Now let's get messy.

There is a piece inside every person on this planet that is turned off. It's that piece that is shunned and hidden, but to be a good writer, you need to turn it on.

 That's me. I'm Scarlett Darkly. If I were to meet you, it might be a pleasure to make your acquaintance. 

I am turned on and now it's your turn and I sincerely hope this blog turns you on. 

Sincerely, 

S. Darkly