S.O.S., Shit, Outlines Suck

   Again, a terribly long hiatus. In an attempt to be a better writer, and an all around better person, I have decided that I will improve my time management skills. So much to see and do and such a short life to squander it on Tumblr, Stumbleupon, or God forbid, Facebook*. Self-Help section over. Writing time.

   As I said before it has been quite some time since I've posted, and the post that I'm commenting on is even older. The post was made by my delightful friend Rosé on outlining. While I love her dearly, we differ in our writing styles (more about this later, maybe readers will get a collaborative blog post?), but the focus of this blog, outlining. In fact, we are polar opposites when it comes to outlining. As stated in her post, Rose is constantly trying a new system of organization and that's fabulous. It makes the writing process much easier if you have an idea of where you want your characters to go and what you want them to be doing. For example, and this example is based off of Rose's baby which she is diligently writing as I blog**,  if you have a story with a couple main characters who aren't a pack (think Harry, Hermione and Ron) then you will have some trouble deciding what role they will play, when the will play it, when they will play it, and how they will play it. Rose has this in her work as there are main characters and then characters who are central to the plot, but not necessarily "main" and then characters who are important, but not central or main. Keeping that many characters, and those types, organized can be like wrangling toddlers for nap time. You know it's going to be a positive thing that will make everyone involved happier, but those little shits don't have that foresight and want to continue doing everything else but sleep.

   I do like Rose's suggestion about having color cards correspond to aspects of you story and sorting everything out before you start to write. That can be extremely helpful, especially when you hit a road block. Those are the days you climb on the struggle bus and whip out your cards so you can still be productive, you're still focused on writing, but you can still feel like someone extracted your brain and replaced it with a pile of garbage from a fratdaddy's*** trash can.

   But where do I come in? By now I think we all know I come when I want and here I am.

   I don't outline. Maybe a little, but I'm that artsy person who wants to "feel" their characters and "hear" their characters. And let me tell you right now it is bullshit. It is not professional and I am trying desperately to find a way to balance that with effective outlining techniques. But honestly, that's how I write. I got my idea for the book I'm writing one night at four am when I woke up to go to the bathroom. The only reason I remembered this flash of brilliance in the morning?
1. I have the weirdest sleeping antics which, if you are lucky, I will share here some day.
2. In my scenario I set up Leonardo DiCaprio was the main character and I thought about him later that day.

How is that relevant?

First, write more stuff down. If you aren't one to really outline and you wait for those bursts of creativity, for pete's sake be ready to document them. Don't stop there either. Remember where you documented them. Even better, on my nightstand somewhere in the midst of my T. Rex, painted margarita glass, pug picture and menagerie of books is my notebook. Not the cheesy one with Ryan Gosling shirtless. My writing notebook. It's a little notepad that I got at Staples in a three pack and it's my lifeblood. I get an idea, I write it down. I think of a name, I write it down. I have a short story in my mind that won't leave me alone long enough to think about ANYTHING else, I write that sucker down. This in itself is a great thing because you can go back in a couple weeks when you hit that inevitable rut and you can be reminded of what your work was, is, and will become.

Secondly, and this is me being a fan of old school techniques (a blog post later will go into greater detail of this), notice the verb littering that paragraph above this one? WRITE. You are a WRITER. You WRITE books. Would it kill you to back away from your computer and WRITE something? I mean this sincerely, all caps lock aside. My heart aches for the days of fountain pens, which I know are difficult to use, but my heavens the beauty of the script. Your name becomes elegant and rich when written with a fountain pen. But I understand that always having a fountain pen on hand can be rather problematic and we want our writing to be unhindered. That's why we aren't outlining, right? However, a pencil or pen is not difficult to obtain. Trust Ms. Darkly, your writing will thank you.

Finally, if you are not going to outline, and this is going to sting, your writing will suck when you first write it. Will you have descriptions that blaze a picture not into your mind, but into your heart? Yes. Will you have dialogue that you swear is too good for you to have written? Yes. Will these sparkly writing gems be few? Yes, and they will be far between and it is your job as a writer who does not believe in outlining to "listen" to your characters. Especially when they tell you it's time to make some changes.

Sincerely,
S. Darkly






*Do yourself a favor and end the insanity now. You will love your life without Facebook.
**Literally and figuratively. And I've read some of that sucker, it's a wonderful example of writing beautifully.
***Yes, I said "fratdaddy".